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one handicapped dude at our office-- wheelchair mike. - lucky bitch. i wish i were handicapped. those guys are so lucky, dude. - human rabbits' feet. - alice, how many handicapped people do we have in this office? - that a trick question? - [silly voice] we have but one. - ooh, i'm gonna talk like that too. alas, there are but two handicap parking spots, which is arithmetic, milady. - yeah, you do the math. hmm? - alice, what they're trying to say is that there's no spots out there for normal people like us, all right? so i'm out there, parked on the street, and what, i'm supposed to, what, move my car every two hours? - that's stupid. - get real. - act real, alice, 'cause guess what. we're here every day at 10:00. okay, maybe 10:02. but when we get here, the parking lot's all packed out, and we're s.o.o.l. - so why don't you just scratch our butts a little bit and give us the bonus handicap parking spot, okay? - first of all, work starts at 9:00. yeah. and see this? this is me making a note of giving you that spot. "give parking spot to idiots. change tampon...kill self." - uhh, chan
a pair of motorcycle mishap videos. the first one a dude riding drunk. this guy appears to be riding his motorcycleal completely impaired. he comes up to a stop light and can't seem to get the bike stopped and drops the bike. he can't even pick it back up. >> that's a good thing. >> stay down. and you are right. it is a good thing that he can't seem to get back on the bike. maybe somebody will say pull the keys out and save that dude's life. >>> a couple of guys racing through the woods. this guy in the 21 banner slows down. racing up behind him completely rear ends the guy. looks like nobody got seriously injured in this accident. the other guy went flying off of the bike into the ravine but seems to be moving around okay. a little shaken up. >> you are right about this, a definite mishap. >>> all right. it is tuesday. you have today, wednesday and thursday left in our ipad 3 give away. you have to have the buzzword. buzzwordxd for tuesday coming u in a bit. >> rememberxd you have to be 18 years old or older to win. >>> three guys went on this trip through south america. they were able
away. >> there's edits in there. i'm suspicious. >> gn point. >> i'm not saying he's not a strong dude and can't push that car over, but to lift it right off its wheels by himself? >> he thinks it's a fake. what do you think? did he really flip this car over? head to our website and let us know. >>> this might freak you guys out a little bit. it's a pretty macabre invention. this is donald scruggs. mechanical engineer and inventor invented the easy enter burial container also known as the screw-in coffin, and his idea came from -- the simple screw. >> why don't we just make a big, large carrot-shaped thing with threads around it and screw it into the ground? what you're looking at here is the model. >> oh, no way. >> of the easy interburial container which has long taperrd, with screw threads around it stru xroouing down in. >> so it's like an upright casket with threads on it and they just screw it in the ground like a giant post. >> but how do you get in the ground? you're going to need a giant grill. >> he saysit's no harder to purt in the ground than like a fence post are and that
cracked that dude in his mouth, dude. >> ooh. >> i kind of agree with him. i'm disappointed he didn't get at least one solid -- in there. just to, like, calm down. >>> it's thursday, and we've got an ipad 3, you've got a chance to win. >> beth, you've got to love the ipad giveaway. all you need is the buzzword. >> thursday's buzzword in just a bit and you've got to enter. >> stand by for thursday's buzzword, and good luck, everybody. >>> let's go on a really cool skydive over ecuador. look at how pretty that is. you can see ecuador, the river and down below you can even see their soccer stadium. >> that's a cool bumblebee song. that looks cool. >> they did look cool, but they're about to get cooler, because look at where they decide to land. they decided to land on the field in the stadium right before the game started. >> what? that's like a whole new level of, like, a streaker. >> he did hit pro soccer player who does play for ecuador. >> we've seen skydivers dive into a xad yum before that's part of the pageantry, they just decided to dive the pitch? >> let's see the reaction on whethe
bike. then the dude has to run from this thing. he ends up going up a tree and is stuck in a tree for an hour. jackson's parents file a missing child report. police get a report about a child stuck in a tree. they intervened and rescued jackson. he's hearing it from his classmates. >> they are like hey, goat boy. why are you afraid of goats? i was that was a freaky goat, it was possessed. >> you know what happens. when you say voldemort, he comes. he's the guy who made a bet with his buddies to -- >> dunk his head in a bucket full of urine. >> turns out he's no ordinary dude nor are his pals. >>> and it's the latest technology in fighting terrorism. >> bomb sniffing mice. >> can mice really smell explosives? [ male announcer ] this commercial is not about getting fios; it's about getting fios. that moment after you finally got it, that you actually get it. when you can see blades of artificial grass in their full glory, you get it. or the first time you download a two-hour movie in two minutes, you get it. because once you've got it, you get it. [ female announcer ] it's faster. i
? >> i don't know, i don't know what this is. >> this dude came prepared to rob with a straw hat. >> he looked suspicious from the get go. >> and a woman parks her car on train tracks and riders are po'd. >> maybe, maybe, maybe she didn't notice the tracks. >> maybe ♪ because we know how much you do to make the holidays just right. from ornaments to ottomans, memories are made with ikea. >>> this is a very exciting day because we have another winner our right this minute ipad give away. they're joining us if kansas to tell us about their win. >> congratulations, we're so excited for you. tim, you have a beautiful team, let's go around, i want everyone to introduce themselves. >> i'm tim, kelly, katie, shawn, joanna. >> how were you feeling when you won? >> was like christmas early. >> what will you use it for most? >> games. >> it's definitely a big surprise, we're very thankful for it. we were floored and blown away, and beth, we loved the gag. >> why should other viewers enter the giveaway? >> it was easy to do it, why not. >> congratulations, give us a big wave goodbye! and we have
. >> and foodologist. what's up, dude? >> this is pretty darn awesome. >> it is. actually due to the fact there is less oil being used. instead of tasting all that oily taste you actually get to taste more of the real flavors that are in the food. >> one 234i7k is when people drop the stuff the friar and you've got to-oyf worry about the oil splashing all over the place. >> exactly. it's a lot safer. >> is this something we can put in schools, in fast-food joints? >> definitely. they're looking to put it to work. >> how much fat will this really cut out if the they're still kind of pre-frying things in the production process? >> about 30% to 50% less fat than if used in, oil immersed. >> a swing sale. [ laughter ] >> whew! ♪ >>> i think if you have a really, really horrible talent, but you still need a really good friend to support you, better reach out to this. >> yo. [ laughter ] >> i think this guy is rappin' or something, but this horse, he's like, man, you got this. he is really supporting his man. grooving along with the dude. >> he's like a mom with the tone deaf kid, just can't tell him. oh,
to say that exact same stuff. >> now he talks to ad week. they want to know, dude, that's your daughter and she's in provocative poses. he said, "if i felt bad about it, i wouldn't do it." >> he doesn't care. he's proud of his car. he's proud of his daughter. he wants to show off, i don't know -- >> oh, no! >> what about your daughter spread-eagle like that? >> seriously? >> it could have been daughters idea. >> there are tons of girls that would do this for their portfolio. >> i could defend this guy until you get to the butt shot. that one is kind of hard. you can't really -- >> this is so creepy. >>> this is a story of two pedestrians behaving badly. this first one, you see a group of people at a cross walk. then in the middle of the street, one of the pe pedestrians just drops to the ground. >> pulled a hammy or something? >> he is injured? heart attack? what is he doing? >> and no one cares. everyone is like he's crossing the street. >> maybe he was trying to fake an injury. look at what happened. >> that car runs over him and drags him. >> but also flipped him like 180. i actually
>>> hello, everybody. >> now the dudes who put a burger in faith reveal the drama of getting it back. >>> plus, join the list of winners in the rtm giveaway. we've got the wednesday buzz word for your chance at a new ipad and meet some flipping cute kids who are head-butting their way to internet stardom. >> we've got all sorts of awesome angles from a car competing in a rally challenge. this is razid al raji. we see where they're going from that camera. we see a view of the drivers and we see a view of the pedals. >> they're foot driving. >> so here they are in their ford, cruising along, going pretty good, going fast. they're in their third stage of the event. in it you can hear the code driver giving instructions, and eventually they go around some sharp turns, but eventually they get to one turn that they misjudge. >> oh! >> 131 feet this team rolled from the course. they just misjudged and things got off track, you could say. >> that's what's fun about watching a rally. it's on a course, not a racetrack. this is racing real world. >> but get this, the competition continu
for some dudes hitting the slopes. >> i don't think they have anything that they're riding on. gritty survive.t where only the >>> the internet is abuzz about a giant frozen wave. guess what? >> it is not. >> now meet the man who can clear up the mystery. >> forget what you believe. always double check. >> and this year's miss pole dancing competition had a little bit of a twist. why not? everyone is a fan. >> this is a bad marketing job from this company. >> this is dash cam video from a seattle police car. officers were responding to a hit-and-run call. >> suspect vehicle is proceeding in a white van. >> this video was just released on monday. but it's an incident that happened back in october. officers eventually pull into this parking lot wre they believe they have spotted that white van at matches t de plate. and police believe this guy in the black t-shirt is responsible for that hit-and-run. they ask him to put his hands on the hood. >> get of the way. put your hands on the van. >> then things get heated. you see officer fox show up -- >> what are you going to do to me? knock m
. so really he lost. >> listen, man, it was a good race. mitt romney, god bless him. he is a good dude, but it wasn't his time. here are the real winners of they lexes, fox news. fox news. everybody looks sad. it is like, he just breathed life into this building. you make the most money in these four years than anybody. you should have thrown a party when he won. what are you nuts? >> i remember when i worked for the american spectator during the regan years and it was at like 25,000 circulation. during clinton it was 250,000. so opposition always benefits. but you never that because you have people who are unhappy who may say i'm tired of the political process. i don't know. >> that doesn't count because that magazine sucked. >> that was unnecessary. >> he is mean. >> remember rush limbaugh said the best thing happening to him was clinton getting elected it sky rocketed him to fame. >> back then there was something to get mad at. you cheered me up a wee bit. >> it is amazing seeing you two together given he doesn't like black people. >> it is the bloody wogs i have a problem with. >>
two fives, then you have a 10. >> never [beep] a 10. one night, five dudes. >> it's the new meth. >> can we black bar those things? great. superdoppler h.d. stormtracker center. >> what's good, man? >> mater o'hara, he was randy on "the wire." >> you excited disney is taking over george lucas, "star wars? >> that's awesome. >> oh, my god. abby and brittany. >> what? >> that girl over there is dressed like the conjoined twins. you know the twins abby and brittany. >> i'm brittany and this is abby. >> could you introduce who you really are? >> i'm dax's intern. >> dax is always having someone work for him. what do you do? >> everyone has interns. >> no wonder he has 5,000 twitter fans. it's all >> twins. >> vagina grave wednesday, vagina grave wednesday, yeah! >> with celebrity props rex lee. >> one question for you. >> ok. >> the guy in serbia, his wife passed away. on her headstone, he puts a carving of her vagina. >> yes, this odd etching is quickly becoming the most famous serbian made cavity since ferdinand gunshot wound. >> she wanted this on her head set. >> what is the moti
. >> come on, she's really good, dude. it doesn't matter what he does romantically or whether he's into hollywood or whatnot. the music is the music. a lot of people say that the bubble gum years of the beatles wasn't necessarily who the beatles were but they just needed it to get to where they wanted to be. >> people aren't saying the bubble gum years weren't authentic. >> i thought i'd just make that up. >> once in a while in the "thirty-mile zone," something unthinkable happens. nothing. >> what else do we have? >> we don't have anything. this is a free for all. anyone can say what they have on their minds. this is our free for all session. ♪ what makes you sad what makes you glad it's all the same we're all the same when it comes to chad's free for all section ♪ who's first? anything at all. >> i have some new bits i want to work out. >> what's the deal with the grocery store? >> what is the deal? next. >> matt, you want a chippendales calendar? >> i have two. >> he's gay. next? >> there's kendall jenner. she wrote happy halloween, i'm [beep]. she's 16. she turns 17 on fr
just trips the dude with the umbrella. wait. >> there's one guy walking towards the guy with the umbrella. just knocks him to the ground and almost immediately four other guys show up and they beat this guy unconscious. they take his wallet. they take his phone. most of them walk away. one of them is left behind. the man seems to move a little bit. then you just see him lay still. look at what this guy does just before he walks away. >> looks like he was standing on his head. >> he stepped on his head as he was walking away. >> so they used the storm to their advantage because nobody's on the street? >> but also think of the emergency services and emergency personnel. they're all busy. the man that was beat regains consciousness. he gets up and seems to be able to slowly walk away. >> oh, that's horrible. >> then this next one, i don't even know what to think of this one. >> this is not the goal that any parent has for their children. what in the world is this guy thinking? >> you can hear the hurricane going crazy. for some reason, this dude decided to go climb this he
. watch what happens. >> he landed on that dude. >> he landed on that girl. that was a female racer just in front of him. she didn't jump up as high as he did. he went to the sky to jump. once he was in the air, he doesn't have much control over where he goes, landed right on top of her. >> and he's on a very heavy motorcycle. of course the weight of his body and the speed, how is this girl? how is she? >> i don't have any reports on injuries of these people. i don't know. i think erybody eventually got out of this okay b r on how seriously. >> he starts screaming, understand, has no control over it. >> chilling to hear him know what's coming, and it's kind of crazy to see the camera knocked on the ground and you see the official come out with the yellow caution flag. >> not before some other motorcyclist veered out of the way and not hit these people. >> we are giving away an ipad 3. this one right here is being shipped off to one of our winners today. >> this one is going to sharon wilkinson. sharon, it's on its way. >> we've got thursday's buzzword coming up in just a while. that's wh
. this was uploaded on the youtube channel. time to get epic by epic dude. >> you are not going to believe who i made out with last night. dylan samsonite. it was so gross. hang on a second. >> according to the epic dudes, apparently in the month of november, because so many men are participating in movember, a lot of females ingest a lot of male hair -- >> from the lip. that's what they are talking about. >> moustache hair. >> in fact, lip hair ingestion goes up 5,000% in the month of november, aka movember. >> that's a scientific fact. >> scientific purchase whether it's true or not, i didn't write this video, guys dressed up like girls, acting l>>et's dig in. >> a great way to put more attention on nick calderone for grog awesome movember mustaches. >> if you want to be part of our team do go to"right this minute," look for photos, join the team. >> the person who posted this video likes two things, cats and assassins creed 3. the cat is confused. you can see the main character is petting the dogs on the screen and the dogs in the game are making noise. the cat is like what is going
. craig's a fit dude. he's attempting a 53-inch box jump, basically standing jump sta straight up, and he gets there. >> what the -- >> he didn't have a mat or anything down there to break his fall. >> so now he has a fractured spine. >> craig looks like he's a pretty fit dude. i'm sure all it hurt was his pride and nothing else. >> i don't know about that. >> that will knock the wind out of you when you start making those weird noises like the grape lady. sorry, craig, but i'm laughing at you today. >>> steven, we're going to call this segment science. >> science? >> this video is called paint by particle. that's the models and super computing have a new video of aerosol movement. >> aerosol movement, meaning -- >> particles, dirt -- >> this is like a time lapse? >> it's rally really like a sup computer -- >> let's be serious. we don't know much about science. >> you know who does? our science correspondent. >> sup, zach? >> is this a time lapse? >> it is. this is a model from august 2006 to april 2007. aerosol you're probably thinking of spray cans. >> aqua net. >> aerosol is actually t
. >>> this dude really, really wants to be a cop. but at the tryouts -- he just loses it. >> how a psyched-up recruit goes a little psycho. >>> a guy makes one crazy request at krispy kreme. >> the five donuts together look like an olympic symbol. >> i don't believe he even considered this. >> meet the woman who jumped through hoops to make the rings. >> this is crazy. oh, my goodness. >>> and this is just another monday morning in brussels. when cheerleaders take over, not everybody is a fan. >> we got to send them our like dolphins cheerleaders. i could watch them watch paint dry, thank you. >>> i'm showing you a video of two incredible animal rescues, and it all involves human brute strength. the first one is henry the pig, he's an 800-pound yorkshire pig. >> many could on, henry. >> can i ask who just left the giant pit the size of an 800-pound pig in a barnyard. >> people are starting a thermal project and henry got in there. what you're looking at are fire hoses and they're filling in the hole with firewood so henry can climb out. >> 800-pound, i'm not surprised they're trying to bui
and spinning. >> find out who came to the rescue of a mom and baby stuck inside. >>> and a dude goes for a dip, in a frozen pond. see what happens when he tries to get out and -- >> wait until you see what this dude is wearing. >>> look what i have, everybody. a brand new ipad and we are giving it away to kelly drake in dublin california. she is one of our winners and joining us via skype right this minute along with her twin 6-year-olds. were you so excited to find out that you were one of our winners in our giveaway? i was very surprised. we were just starting our friday usual movie night and i just laid on the couch checking e-mail. when i saw it come through i kind of went kind of crazy. they were one dering what i was yelling about. i showed them the e-mail and let them know i did win. >> what types of videos do you find most appealing? >> i like the shocking videos and the video of the week. i work from home all the time so i don't like to surf the internet when i'm off. it's a nice sit around and kind of watch what's on the internet. >> we are so thrilled that you watch our show and we'
started. right off the top, it's a video that's flying until it stops, all of a sudden. >> two dudes, one jet ski, that's how this video begins, but boy does it take a turn for the worst. they are going pretty fast. they got this thing up to 90 kilometers an hour, or close to 56 miles per hour. that's pretty fast for a jet ski. you see they are cruising pretty good. for the most part, they are going straight. then they start taking a few turns, then something bad happens. watch this. >> oh! >> whoa! >> you can see within a second, within a flash, they go from water to land, landing in these bushes. >> how did that happen? how do you miss the water? >> looks like they were going really fast and going kind of close to the edge of the water, close to the woods. i think when they tried to cut it back to go back towards the water, they were going way too fast, got out of control. you see they fly up into this bush and both of them fly off the jet ski. these guys are airborne landing in this bush. >> i wonder if there was, like, a branch under the water they didn't see to cause that. >> did the
this is. >> this dude came prepared to rob with a straw hat. >> he looked suspicious from the get go. >> and a woman parks her car on train tracks and riders are po'd. >> maybe, maybe, maybe she didn't notice the tracks. when we switched to fios, we got better tv, better phone, better internet. it was like somebody like took our computer, shook all the junk out of it. we're actually getting more for our money with fios. [ male announcer ] it's time to get more for your money. upgrade to verizon fios internet, tv and phone with our best price online. just $84.99 a month, guaranteed for one year with no annual contract. there's at least three computers. [ girl 1 ] a tablet. [ woman 1 ] couple of gaming systems. we could all be running at the same time. we do not notice any dips. [ male announcer ] get tv rated #1 in customer satisfaction. and get the school year off to a great start with america's fastest, most consistent and most reliable internet. internet is absolutely imperative for school nowadays. look up this, write an essay on that. my life is greatly improved because of fios.
in south america had a little bit of a twist. for the first time they also had -- dudes? now, see, dudes? please let me point out the background is miss pole dance. what are they doing there? >> it's great to see these men and their athleticism manifesting itself. >> it looks very athletic. if anybody that's seen cirque du soleil, you see guys doing the same thing. >> this is a bad marketing job from this company. >> the winner wasn't a dude. it was a girl. we found a bunch of videos on the internet of the winner. and she won for good reason. this is her just practicing. i have to say, just the athletic ability alone, pretty impressive. >> that is amazing. this woman is all muscle. >> yep. >> there's no answer. she's a lot of things. >> look at her. i mean she is suspended by one leg. >> now you understand why we like going to these places. >> it's 2012. it's time to start expanding our horizons. >>> guys, this is always a lot of fun. the "right this minute" ipad give away may be over. but we have one of our final lucky winners joining us "right this minute" via skype. she watches the sh
at for the tough story. must be weird to be that dude. (laughter) walking into a room and people go-- aaahhhh! anyway what has been happening in the gosling strip. >> the first bus bombing in tel aviv in eight years. >> roughly 850 rockets have been fired at israel from gaza. >> a senior israeli official says israel is ready for a ground invasion. >> we know ten members of one family, also two media centers. >> that was a rather large explosion. (laughter) and a rather nonplused reaction i might add. for god's sake, anderson cooper, do you have to run towards every single danger. somebody get him out of there! tell him there's a tornado headed towards a knife store or something. (laughter) (cheers and applause) i think i found a way to solve this conflict. (laughter) somebody needs to surrender some holy land. take some sojourners to the dome of the [bleep]. (laughter) that's good. right off the top of the head. (laughter) all right. so the fighting began last week when hamas launched hundreds of rockets at israel which were, i guess, in retaliation for israel killing the head of hamas's mili
) that creepy looking dude was britain's dick clark? let me tell you something! first of all, dick clark didn't look like route tkpwer hauer playing one of the child catchers from "chitty chitty bang bang." (laughter) i don't want to judge a book by its cover but if this fellow was a book i'm pretty sure the cover would be "don't leave me alone with your kids: the jimmy savile story." what did this now known pedophile host? well, it was a hugely popular show called jim "jim eel fix it" where children would write in and he would grant their wishes. their wishes. (audience reacts) he was like santa claus. but real and a pedophile. (laughter) so really nothing like santa claus. all right, this is a horrific story. but the bbc weren't the only ones who failed to look so too closely into jimmy savile's activities. he received a knight hood and not just from the queen but also-- and this is true-- from the pope. (audience reacts) yeah. i know. the vatican unable to detect -- (laughter). boggles the mind. (cheers and applause) but the bbc is a 90-year-old broadcasting institution. they're going to h
on to the rocks to get out of their way. >> he was spearfishing for their food. they are like dude come on man. him scooting out of there looks like a seal. >> that looks like more whale food. >> apparently they don't like the competition. look at this dog. this dog is playing in the water close to the shore and these orcas come close to the dog. watch the dog. he is like okay i'm leaving. >> i'm surprised they didn't swallow this dog up. check that out again. the dog is like okay. get out of there. >> he is scared, too. the dog knows. >> how does that whale not immediately eat that dog? >> the orca is a mammal. maybe it did a little butt sniff and knew it was a dog. that didn't cross my mind but really interesting that that dog didn't scoot all the way out. he got to where he can stand and was like i was just swimming. i didn't mean to come in your territory. i didn't peafá on your lawn. two videos and a simple game to play. the difference and win money. >>> and a little video. >> they are going so fast. >> there is plenty of it. >>> ripping and crashing on "right this minute." ron: years ag
for the dudes who hang out in the auto parts club. is america ready for an answer? please include the word no. >> they could be. but why are we talking about this now? >> what else are we going to do? >> what are you wearing for halloween in four years? it just happened. just give it time. >> that's our next topic. >> it is 2016. you are going as a munster. >> and you died from whatever disease keeps you that tiny. >> is it projeria. >> i don't know but that could explain why it is shrinking. >> and you are 14. >> does the gop have to run someone not white or male? should it be a member of the bird family? >> you mean like robert bird? he is dead. >> actual flying things. >> marco rubio had me with his gorgeous lips. unfortunately he might capture some of the socially conservative law tone know vote. but republicans did themselves no great favor by being super coble social con. this is a great time for civil war. and the democrats could see on. and i will propose if hillary clinton wants a majority in the country she should be more libertarian. not only would it be her spending predecessors,
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 618 (some duplicates have been removed)